Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Still dying that you shit outside
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
