She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
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Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
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You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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