Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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