did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize