theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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