So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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