i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Randomize
