that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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