if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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