It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize