You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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