i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize
