O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
