I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's blow job season.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
