That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
