i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
