I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize