the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
