I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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