Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
