Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
