Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
