I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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