I love black thongs
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
