On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
