He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
