ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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