Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
