I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
