lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
