Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
smell my finger.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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