Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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