told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
