Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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