When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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