just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
