I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
