I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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