i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Someone came in the potted fern
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
