whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
