I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
