This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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