All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
