he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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