yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
