I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
