God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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