I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
