How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize