how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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