He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
