I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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