I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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