That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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