Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
