I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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