Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
