I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
