I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Are we still banned from the library?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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