everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
