There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
